sorry

i wish that every kiss was neverending

2008-12-23T14:36:20Z

me and my dad brought puppy to the airport this morning.

and now i'm the saddest lady you'll ever meet.

since the first night we spent together (september 8th, cupcake party) i don't think we have spent more than two consecutive nights apart. i don't know if we've even spent two apart. we haven't even spent many single nights apart. i came to my parents house a couple times, but then just started coming for visits instead, and patrick and i slept here together twice. in total, i doubt we've spent a week in different beds in over three months.
i don't even know how to sleep alone.

i'm home for a bit before work. i'm there until 9. at least i'll have something to keep me busy today. i'll probably have to go to spencer street to get some clothes and feed sardonicus, and get my presents for my family.

wouldn't it be nice if we were older
then we wouldn't have to wait so long
and wouldn't it be nice to live together
in the kind of world where we belong

you know its gonna make it that much better
when we can say goodnight and stay together

wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
in the morning when the day is new
and after having spent the day together
hold each other close the whole night through

happy times together weve been spending
i wish that every kiss was neverending
wouldn't it be nice

mourning wood

2008-09-23T12:05:16Z

hi,
i haven't posted her in about twelve thousand years.

i work at a pita place called mega wraps where i get to eat all the free falafel my guts can handle. i'm in school, although i haven't been going as often as i should. i'm taking a required women's studies research course as well as writers from 1800, intro french II, a course on the apocalypse and intro to chinese philosophy.

the biggest news right now is probably that i'm kind of crazy about this boy in my life...

that's us.

he treats me so well, i seriously don't know how to deal with it.

that's all for now. i haven't been updating my real blog very often (www.aeonity.com/bee), but have been keeping tabs with bluekaffee if you're shitting yourself wanting to know about my life.
who uses livejournal anymore anyways? what is this, 2002?

this is a bit much

2008-04-12T23:15:47Z

i just got another weird email, this one is from "mahmud ryckman" moiler@kabel.cc, subject: lassitude

Heyello,

        
 Present unnforgettable night to your belooved one,
 imaggine yoursellf as a Macho!

http://qlagiuky1xspabq.blogspot.com


   Counties, their habits, and characteristics. Hence her head
as if accompanying a strain of music. Amusing if you want
to relieve your mind about with showers upon showers (in
distinct sets) of i'd have sworn it was nearly daylight.
she pressed i must do what is agreeable to my friend. He
is biodekikpijs him. Maggie, he said, again stretching out his
oh, how can he be slain by me. O, let my army so much as
five sous to give to a shoeblack for eat only such food
as has been obtained by righteous warning, because i know
it will be of no use to unto whom bhrigu's son had given
the highest weapons, areaaaflakgl laws, just as it was confided
to local state constitutions. Find most busy places just
as dirty, said gard. Have seen them, their backs straining
under the.

thanks, mail.

2008-04-12T02:23:00Z

this is some fucked up email i got on riseup.net, which i never get spam on.
Subject: equivalents
From: "Schneidtmille Buttler" <tallness@sirgeorge.ac.nz>

Heyello,

Hohe hoholulu

Accordingly, at this period,viz. From twelve till overfilled
nests of serpents, fell long green white. They have no chalk
or lime in footnote at the shah's courtthe shaha graceful
speakerthe you here? Then you were not drowned? Gasped the
but the chemist's shop was full of people he had begins
to jelly, set them a cooling, and being dog and a sister
who visited her once a week on that horse you're riding
has got one white foot. Descended todeg., and everybody
was shivering ye knowan' 't ain't fair. Why, we <i>will</i>
may these ladies be relied on?' dey may,' ses placed the
princess emma. His only thought now he was eager to set
out the next morning, when and |line open. | carried. |
coffee. | animals..
in other news...
the other day jess and i were in the library and this guy who interviewed errand boy for chmr and then
came to the show at the ship gave us cd's.

it had godspeed and some other stuff like that one it. there was this blurb written about how it's not
supposed to be the best in indie music, but some accessible stuff. don't i look like i'm totally over
all that?
shit.
also, is that picture supposed to be me?
adam came in the library and a bug flew out of his hair and it was the most grim thing ever.
yesterday i walked to the village mall in a thin hoodie. these flowers were growing outside

right underneath this faucet

being in the village is so weird, this is a poster they had throughout the mall

what the fuck is cj moose???

i stole a chocolate bar, a new lid for my travel mug and some headbands.

before work i stole some light shirts for summer

and today i stole some card stock and colored sharpies. i have a problem.

steve came into work to lend me his camera and give me the tape of the house show at robert's

he also brought me another copy of "the b book" by dr. seuss

and a button with a bee on it!

i came home and found a sewing machine i had when i was a kid. it can't go backwards, but whatever.

and i got a letter from tim totten!

today i did a take for my video "PUNXERCIZING WITH XNASTY BEEX: EXXTREME PUNK LIFESTYLEZZ!"
i was still wearing my "costume" when my mom came home to give me bus fare to get to work.

and then the mail man delivered me a letter from brad religion!

i have gotten a lot of letters lately, i better hurry up and respond or else my pen pals won't love me
anymore.

also today i saw mike gruchy getting out of his car when i was walking to get the bus.
and the day before i saw this guy getting off the bus who looked like steve circa 2006 if he were black
and kind of emo looking. he had long dreads and was tall and had a long face and skinny jeans and a
trendy looking hoodie and skate shoes. he had a skateboard in one hand and i was like "um, excuse me,
why are we not dating????"

john power is in town! i hope we actually hang out more this time.

sometimes i totally wish i were cory kennedy

i mean... c'mon, who doesn't?</pre>

pip; the greatest boy in the world

2008-04-08T11:42:34Z

pip died this morning.

she died last night while we were sleeping. she was such a pretty baby.
she took care of me when i had panic attacks.
i still don't have matilda. i am so sad and lonely right now it doesn't make sense.
i feel so guilty, i had just gotten angry with her for trying to steal tampons. really it was incredibly cute.
this is the worst.

extreme lifestylez

2008-04-07T12:31:18Z

yesterday was awesome.
aryn called and picked me up and we met our mothers and our aunt at east side marios. i got sick on pizza and fries and then we got bridesmaids dresses for our cousin melissa's wedding in august.

we tried them on and then our mothers and aunt were like "stand in the mirror next to each other." aryn and i were wearing the same dress. i was like, this is what eating disorders are made out of.
whateverrrr, we both looked hot as balls in the dress. i tried it on again when i got home and i feel like a million bucks when i wear it, which is kind of rare.

also, moving is pretty cool because you find awesome stuff from your childhood.

up the girl guides.

and my $5 shoes from a little girl's store in the mall kicked the bucked, i bought them around x-mess. i was pretty bummed about it, but i inherited these bad boys from my little brother:

they're a little too big for me but whatever. i get to have second hand nikes.

work soon

2008-04-05T19:23:33Z

i am so exhausted...

after being the library from 8:30am to 4:30pm i managed to write about a tenth of my philosophy paper which i'm going to have some serious late penalties for, my english paper and my english assignments.
fuck.
i missed my french interview.
fuck.
i think i'm going to drop that course so that my gpa doesn't plummet.

then i worked until 10. it was really busy and i felt bad because i'm still pretty slow where i'm new so i felt like i wasn't a big help. kayla, the girl i work with, told me afterwards that if i wasn't there helping as much as i was she would have been crying.
i thought that was pretty raddddd.
i hate this getting paid bi-weekly thing, though. i have a fancy new cellphone and no minutes. i would buy some if i got paid weekly.
anyway, after i got off work last night i thought the bus came at 10 after, turns out it comes 20 to... i was too scared waiting at the bus stop outside work (it's pretty isolated, and it was dark) so i kept walking to the next bus stop, no bus, i'd walk to the next one. the bus finally came and drove right past me! i ran after it to the next bus stop, which was a shelter and i waved my arms the whole time. i got there as it was pulling up and it still drove away. an suv full of middle-aged women dressed up to go to clubs or some shit were laughing at me.
i couldn't even believe it. my back was killing me too.

i called my mom from an irving and waited with some coffee. irving sells fair trade organic, apparently.

i got home and talked to tim totten for a while, which is routine now. and i had mail from sami!

today i have to work that same shift, but this time with a girl who apparently sucks at her job and who i haven't met. fuckkkkk.
then, free show at turner's? jen squires? yeahhhhh.

wahhhhhhh i don't wanna workkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

bad girlz

2008-04-03T00:18:22Z

"sometimes i want to take to the streets with a baseball bat.

i will not behave myself, never ever ever"

i wrote that (and livejournal saves drafts apparently) right before a computer in the library logged me out.

it's funny because i want to take to the streets with a baseball bat more now than ever.
is this real? seriously?
i think we're calling for a shitstorm may 17th.

srsly

2008-03-31T12:06:54Z

hey dudes,
a. confrontation is not that big of a deal.
b. resentment is lame.
i pick a.
you should too.

all the best,
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

oh lord

2008-03-31T00:15:19Z

i'm not sure if i wanna throw up or die more right now.
nothing stays good for more than two seconds.

i miss everyone i've ever loved and i need to get out of this city.
michelle asked me to curate the rooms film screening for april 24th. i'll make a whole load of money doing it.
i think i'm going to plan a trip asap.

maybe i'll never come back. sometimes i really don't know why i would...

grad

2007-04-29T20:00:02Z

i graduated.

steve was my date.

we went to a wine and cheese and drank punch and ate pineapple beforehand.

we got a double decker bus around town.

we went to bowring park

and to signal hill.

the meet and greet was crowded.

i'm pretty sure that me and jonny are related.

i won most likely to become a rock star.

we danced and got lots of pictures taken.

afterwards we stayed at a bed and breakfast.
now my parents hate me.
i had lots of fun though. i definitely got way more action on my prom night than you did.

like lovers do

2007-02-14T04:10:59Z

i just finished making pink, red, and white fudge for my valentine.

i made him lots of other things too. he made me a tape that i got early.

today steve and i had lunch. after school we went to mun and watched a movie called appalachian journey in the library. it was so so good.
we went to my grandfather's house for his birthday potluck. steve met my whole family. it was nice. he actually talked to people. he was so nervous and went home and shaved and put on a nice shirt for it.

a while ago i took in this bandanna patterned dress that i've had since i was ten. i tied a part of it in his hair. over the weekend we were sewing together and he took in his yellow crimpshrine shirt. he gave me a piece to tie in my hair as a headband. he gave me another piece to tie around his ankle. he had a bandanna tied around his ankle for about a year now i guess. he asked for part of my dress. i gave him a piece big enough. i said "but you already have one there." he said "oh, do i? i guess i'll have to take care of that." he ripped it off and tore my dress around his ankle. i guess that's our equivalent to a promise ring.
i also had a tampon box of my own hair to make into paintbrushes so i gave him some and wrapped it up and glued it and sewed it into his hair.

he put my favorite joy division song (disorder) on the tape. he know that it breaks my heart. he said that the other day he wanted to spraypaint "i love you b.bop" outside of my school. i mean, this boy gave me a tattoo.
september:

february:

now i need to go sew and make sure i have everything ready for tomorrow. i'm going to dress up to look nice for my boy.

you have to list 12 you like things beginning with a letter

2007-01-02T05:29:31Z

esther gave me g. i forgot to check back until now.

1. green peas
2. grocery shopping
3. garbage
4. ghost mice
5. garbanzo beans
6. gravy train
7. ghost stories
8. grapes
9. godspeed you! black emperor
10. gross behavior
11. grass stains
12. ghost world

whatever

2006-12-30T18:30:37Z

In 2007, nastyb resolves to...

Take evening classes in sex.
Find a new diy.
Give up cassette tapes.
Backup my orchid regularly.
Give some drums to charity.
Put fifty shows a month into my savings account.

give up cassette tapes? never!

just for fun.

2006-11-08T01:33:27Z

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...
7. send back to the person who sent it to you.

Opening Credits: crass- asylum

Waking Up: jerry's kids- cracks in the wall

First Day At School: jkw- lang quang fung

Falling In Love: hella- republic of rough and ready

Fight Song: amebix- nobody's driving

Breaking Up: final fantasy- the arctic circle

Prom: bikini kill- in accordance to natural law

Life: career suicide- impact

Mental Breakdown: architecture in helsinki- fumble

Driving: witch hunt- twenty-five

Flashback: jesu- silver

Getting back together: velvet cacoon- fauna and flora

Wedding: bread and water- death sentence

Birth of Child: skitsystem- den morka floden i varat hjarta

Final Battle: mount eerie- the boom

Funeral Song: gravy train!!!- hump lites (wicked!)

End Credits: le tigre- friendship station

i killed you politely

2006-11-02T23:16:09Z

today for the first time since i became interested in music and playing the guitar i actually picked it up and learned power chords.

i learned how to play beat on the brat by the ramones.
i put on my ramones tape and i can almost play at the correct tempo.

today in school i realized that i am really not very good at chemistry but we learned something new in math and i tried it and got it all right. i think that my teacher was proud of me. i know that i sure was.

i have been watching amadeus in experiencing music class. it is really a very good movie. it is nice to notice little things like the fact that in one scene where it showed a clarinet briefly they used a wooden one. i'm glad that they didn't show one of the black, plastic yamaha ones. that would just be silly.

tomorrow i work my regular 5-10 shift at the big r. i will probably be working with tracey. jenny is my favorite other girl to work with. she doesn't take any crap from customers. after that i might go stay at blatch if caleb is still there. or maybe just try to go hang out with him for a bit. he is probably going to leave soon and i'd like to see him before he goes.

i am on my period and this time i almost got worried for a bit because i could feel that this time was different. i saw some pad wrappers in the garbage at the h house so maybe spending time with jen, curtain, and or karen has synchronized my period with theirs. either way it's thick, clotted and pretty much black. rather than just being generally more tired and sore than i normally am i am getting sharp quick cramps that sometimes catch me off guard. i almost cried at work yesterday because one cramp was so strong and i didn't feel it coming. i nearly fell down. what does this mean? i know ways to combat the cramps: water, tea, healthy food, exercise, generally treating myself right but what does the consistency and color of the blood mean? i know that you can tell if you're ovulating or not by the consistency and tackiness of your regular juices but is there something wrong if i'm getting clots the size of my thumbnail?

hello hello

2006-10-26T04:06:25Z

maybe the cold weather is setting in.

maybe that is changing our moods. maybe we're getting angry or nervous or needy or lonely.

maybe we're all confused, and need to get away.

oh, odds and bodkins.